Real Story : “I Lost Motivation For Sport.”

A 51-year-old businessman from Los Angeles came to the session after spending almost five years completely disconnected from sport, despite having been highly active and athletic his entire life.

Over time, he noticed physical changes in his body, loss of energy, and growing frustration with himself. He constantly postponed returning to sport, but emotionally felt unable to restart.

More than anything, he wanted to understand:

“Something happened to me. I used to love sport. Now I keep postponing it for years and I can’t understand why. I lost motivation completely. Can you help me reconnect with that part of myself again?”

Coaching & transformation

During the session, it became clear that the real problem was not a lack of motivation at all.

Several years earlier, after business changes and relocation to another city, his entire rhythm of life had changed. Sport slowly disappeared from his routine because there were no convenient sports facilities nearby.

At the same time, he began experiencing some back discomfort and psychologically convinced himself that sport was worsening a serious physical problem.

However, after deeper exploration, it became clear that the situation was far less serious than he imagined.

The moment he emotionally relaxed and stopped perceiving himself as physically “damaged,” his subconscious immediately revealed something important:
he had already discovered a new type of training he actually enjoyed, and this new activity caused no pain at all.

The real disruption was not physical.

The real disruption was that he had fallen out of his natural rhythm and unconsciously remained there for years.

The turning point came when he realized that five years had already passed without him noticing it, and that another twenty years could pass exactly the same way.

He suddenly understood that continuing to postpone action could eventually create the very health problems he feared.

At the end of the session, he decided:

• to professionally check his spine,
• to register for the new sports club located near his home,
• and to integrate sport back into his schedule starting with two sessions per week.

He even decided to place these training sessions into his planner exactly like business meetings and professional obligations.

And most importantly:
he actually followed through and did it.

Conclusion

The client did not truly have a serious health problem.

The real problem was that relocation and life changes had slowly disconnected him from an important part of his identity and daily rhythm.

Over time, this emotional disconnection transformed into fear, avoidance, excuses, and loss of motivation.

Real Story :

"Why Weight Loss Isn't Enough to Stay Motivated. 

A 30-year-old esthetician from Miami, Florida, came to me looking for motivation to exercise.

When I asked her a simple question—"Why do you want to do sport?"—her answer came immediately:

"I want to lose weight."

At first, it sounded like a perfectly reasonable goal. In fact, it's one of the most common answers I hear.

But this is exactly where many people unknowingly set themselves up for failure.

When weight loss becomes the only reason to exercise, motivation has an expiration date. As soon as the desired weight is reached, the goal disappears—and, for many people, so does the habit of exercising.

The problem isn't a lack of discipline.

The problem is that the goal is too short-term.

During our conversation, we began looking beyond the number on the scale. Instead of focusing only on losing weight, we explored what sport could truly bring into her life over the coming decades.

That shift changed her perspective completely.

Exercise was no longer just a temporary tool for achieving a certain appearance. It became an investment in her future health, energy, confidence, longevity, and overall quality of life.

Once the purpose became bigger, the motivation became stronger.

Coaching & Transformation

During our coaching sessions, it became clear that the real challenge wasn't a lack of motivation—it was the absence of a meaningful long-term reason to stay active.

As we explored her relationship with exercise, I discovered that much of her motivation was connected to self-confidence and the way she perceived her body. She admitted that she wanted to feel attractive and confident when she was with a partner.

Many people would immediately try to eliminate this insecurity. I chose a different approach.

Not every insecurity needs to be removed straight away. In some situations, it can become a powerful source of energy for positive change when it is understood and directed in a healthy way. Rather than allowing this feeling to create self-criticism, we transformed it into one of several motivating factors that could support lasting action.

We then explored many other personal motivations that were much deeper and more sustainable. Together, we created an individual list of reasons why physical activity mattered specifically to her—not to anyone else.

Another important discovery was that the problem wasn't exercise itself. The problem was that she had been trying to force herself into a type of sport she simply didn't enjoy.

Instead of asking, "How can I become more disciplined?" we asked a different question:

"What kind of movement would I actually look forward to doing?"

This completely changed the direction of our work.

The day after our session, she started searching for new activities that better matched her personality and lifestyle. She soon discovered a home-based fitness program using a rebounder, combining music, dance, and exercise. It gave her everything she had been looking for: enjoyment, body transformation, weight management, and the flexibility to exercise at home instead of going to a gym.

Interestingly, this option had always existed, yet she had never seriously considered it before.

When psychological barriers begin to dissolve, people often notice opportunities that were already around them but previously remained invisible.

Within a week, she had purchased the equipment, established a new routine, and started exercising consistently. Most importantly, she finally found a form of physical activity that she genuinely enjoyed—and that is what makes long-term commitment possible.

During the session, he reconnected with the future version of himself and realized that protecting his health today was far more important than continuing to postpone action for another twenty years. 

Conclusion

Many people don't fail because they lack discipline. They fail because they are pursuing the wrong goal.

Goals such as "I want to lose weight" or "I need to exercise" may create short-term motivation, but they rarely inspire lifelong commitment. Once the initial goal is achieved, the motivation often disappears as well.

This is where psychoanalytic coaching can make a significant difference. The purpose isn't simply to encourage someone or tell them to "try harder." It is to uncover the deeper motivations, psychological patterns, and hidden barriers that either block action or create lasting momentum.

I believe that anyone can become motivated to achieve a goal they genuinely want. If a person comes to me asking for help, the desire already exists. The challenge is that the psychological energy needed for consistent action is often locked behind the wrong mindset, limiting beliefs, or goals that don't truly resonate with who they are.

When we identify the right internal motivations, everything begins to change. People see new possibilities, experience their goals differently, and naturally become more engaged in the process. Action no longer feels forced—it becomes a meaningful and sustainable part of their life.

Long-term change doesn't begin with willpower. It begins with understanding what truly motivates you.